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Oh dear, the school pick up. It’s one of the most awkward things you can do as a step parent. For some reason you are treated differently to say, grandparents or nannies coming to collect.

It is like walking into a Range Rover battle field but I don’t know who’s on who’s side. I immediately withdraw into my head. That woman gave me the evil eye, she must be best friends with my step kids’ mum, oh no that woman waved hello to me, she must be scouting for information. Probably all in my head, or maybe not. There are some lovely genuine people there but then there are some not so.

I’m not sure why parents find my presence there so bizarre. Not many are friendly. I think I’ve made 2 friends there in twice as many years, a sweet little Greek grandmother and a woman who left and moved back overseas. Just my luck! I have asked for phone numbers to do play dates at the kids request but then the messages are ignored.

They are a close knit school so it’s hard to deny the strange silence in the air when I wait with the other mothers. And it’s been great for my self esteem to be a big fat fatty fat pregnant woman for 18 months of those school runs.

As a step parent, I am not privy to notices that go home on mums days, I have no idea what is happening most of the time. There is a school app but it doesn’t let you know before things happen, it sends you highlights of the event you missed that day. The kids are constantly telling me last minute that tomorrow they need to wear a onesie. Tomorrow is wear a funny beanie day. Tomorrow is Italian day. In fact there is not a week that goes by that there isn’t a bloody theme. Last week I superglued cd’s to a black t-shirt for a “shiny” theme. It felt hot. That’s because i was accidentally gluing the shirt together and then to the table. Off to the shops I went to purchase a shiny costume only to find out later the event was cancelled.

It’s not really my place to attend information nights at the school, as was suggested by their school principal during a step parent – rant phone call last week, I just want to have a bit of communication I lamented to her. For example, k has attended this school for 4 years and I literally just found out they are “a rubbish free lunch box” school (no packets etc) I was horrified! I have been sending them to school with the dream lunches I never received as a child… packets of chips, juice box, chocolate. Once instead of a sandwich, I sent flippin fairy bread! Oh the horror! And to make matters worse, the principal let me know one of their lunch breaks is strictly for fruit only. I then had flashbacks to all the times I couldn’t be bothered going to the shop and sent their lunch box fruitless. Oh their poor little faces sitting there while their friends gobbled up their organic fruit from their bento box while my kids would have to wait till next break for their evil stepmother complex carbohydrates, saturated fat, environment killing box of death.

Please rest assured they have rubbish free lunches now. I open the pizza shapes and put them in a container.

Lets not forget the time P was in prep and unbeknownst to me the preppies didn’t have school on Wednesdays for the first 4 weeks. There I left her in what was on any other day was her school line. “Oh you’re so lucky to be first in line today” I encouraged her… only to find out half an hour later she would have been sitting in that line alone all day…

Not only do the parents give me strange looks, have you tried explaining the complexities of a new age family unit to 7 year olds? Who even are you? they ask. Mel. Are you P’s mum? No, her stepmum. Is that baby you’re holding her step sister? No it’s her sister. So are you her mum?

Luckily though, Adams new job has given him some flexibility and he has been doing a lot more of the drop off and pick ups. Fine by me!