“By the way, I have two gorgeous kiddos” he said.

This was not part of my plan. When Adam and I met, I immediately shut him down once I heard he had kids. Bit rude, yes but let’s be honest, nobody wants to inherit someone else’s baggage, especially not the kind that needs to be tucked in at night. Recently separated and working long hours at the cafe I still had with my ex husband, I was just looking to play. “You seem lovely but I’m not really interested in kids, plus you’re a bit old” I told him cheekily.

Fast forward some years and we are now a happy family of 6. I guess you could say Adam is quite persuasive. It hasn’t been easy and we’ve still got a lot to work through but like I said on the day I met his two kids for the first time “This is the most important day of my life” and I knew it was, because I was joining a family that already existed. It wasn’t the same as 2 single people coming together. They made room in their life for me and the kids would have to come first, which was a reeaaaaaally hard thing to accept!  Especially to someone in their 20’s with not much kid experience.

Becoming a stepmum wasn’t my first choice, it is so hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it the strange feelings that you feel. And the many meltdowns and tantrums that will occur (from me, not the kids). Not only are you caring for children that you aren’t biologically connected to, you need to deal with their mother as an ever present person in your life. Most exes you never see again, in blended families Dad will text with bio mum most days. We can’t move interstate, we cant take the kids on holidays without permission, I do school drop offs with other parents that may prefer bio mum and treat me accordingly. We don’t let clothes or toys go from house to house so there is a constant battle to ensure all the things we buy them stay in our house! The list goes on. Fun and games!

But at the end of the day, this is my family now and I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, sometimes I still warn my single friends who are dating someone with kids to “RUN!” but me, I got lucky, I pretty much hit the jackpot as far as cool step kids and a supportive and understanding partner. It’s still hard though and we haven’t even hit the teenage years yet…